How to know when the choice you're making is the right one
In life, there’s almost always a toss-up in our choices between a ‘Present’ and ‘Future’ version of ourselves. Generally speaking Present You is the one that calls the shots, and Future You is the one that deals with the consequences.
Present You wants to drink all the tequila. Future You is the one who will feel hungover.
Present You wants to stay in bed. Future You knows that you’ll feel better if you get up and get on with your work and your life.
Present You doesn’t want to go for a run/swim/hike/fast walk. Future You knows cardio exercise is good for your heart and general wellbeing. And so on.
It’s natural to put short-term needs and desires ahead of what we know will be good for us in the long-term. This tendency is called present bias, and some studies have suggested that we do this because we cognitively struggle to perceive our future selves as ourselves. It seems we may be more likely to perceive them in the same way we perceive total strangers. (Isn’t the brain weird?)
It’s also natural to put short-term feelings (anger, frustration, envy) ahead of what we know won’t matter at all in the future. How often have you acted in a way – road rage is always a good example – that is disproportionate to the situation itself? Even though we may regret it later, in the moment we all struggle to think about how Future Me will have to deal (cortisol spikes and all!) after Present Me gets unnecessarily worked up.
Sometimes, Present You and Future You align – you enjoy a walk in the moment and Future You also benefits from the mental, emotional and physical health wins. Looking for these magic concentric circles in your life will make you happier, more content, and probably healthier too. Seek them out at every opportunity.
At other times, the choice is more complex. Present Me wants to stay out late at a party with my friends, while Future Me knows I’ll be exhausted and feel terrible tomorrow. However – and this is where it gets complicated – Future Me knows that the two day hangover might be worth the memories.
There are a few tried-and-tested coaching questions relating to Present/Future You that I give my clients to help them make good decisions. Try them out for yourself and see how you get on:
What are my long-term priorities?
What does Future me feel is important?
How can Present me better support that?
Lily Silverton is a coach, writer and founder of The Priorities Method.
